I recently found out that one of my friends is pregnant. (Congratulations Jennie!) She is having twins. I don't evny her that, but I think I am jealous that she is pregnant. WHAT? Where did that come from? If any of you were around me when I was pregnant, you know it was NOT a pleasant situation. I was sick for 38 weeks straight. I had morning sickness at the hospital. Then there were the daily shots in the tummy. Overall, I HATED being pregnant. HATED it. Hated everything about it. When K would kick me, I would get sick to my stomach. Are you getting the sense that I didn't enjoy being pregnant? I remember being at my OB's office for one of my twice weekly non stress test. She walked in to check the monitor and I busted out crying and BEGGED her to send me the hospital and induce me. I was only 36 weeks and she was not doing to grant my request no matter how much I begged and pleaded. I know by the end of my pregnancy, she was ready for me to done too. Hollye = not a good patient. It is not something I would every willingly do again. Right??? I mean, the outcome was amazing. I've got this beautiful, funny little munchkin running around my house calling me "Hawee" and giving me sloppy kisses whenever she gets the urge. I can't even describe the feeling I get when someone tells me that she looks just like me. (Even though I think she looks like Brian.)
I am not sure what I am feeling. I need to sit down and have a long talk with myself about it. Brian just tells me that he will be happy with whatever I want. And I know that is true. He loves K like crazy. And she is a handful. Then there is whole doctor "you shouldn't have another baby" thing I need to deal with. The oncologist said no more. Guess I need to do some research on that. Then there is the whole heart issue. Some of you may or may not know this. K is not my first child. My first child, Jonah had a heart defect that was not compatible with life. And even though K does not have anything wrong with her heart, the defect is hereditary and the chances that another child would have it actually go up after you have one heart healthy child. When I was doing the research on Jonah's condition, I came across families that had more than one child with a heart defect. And not minor ones. Major life threatening conditions.
Lots of things that need to be considered. And before anyone says "all pregnancies are different", my pregnancy with Jonah was just as bad as K's, but without the shots.
Okay...I am off. All my scrappy Tennessee friends are hanging out at J's and I am jealous. I am gonna go scrapbook with my dogs for company. Pity Party for one!